Crazy in Alabama

Being a native Alabamian I've often times been baffled by the mindset and the way of thinking by most in the state. Take for instance the Lottery issue.

A former Alabama Governor who is in the news a lot lately, Don Seigelman, proposed a state lottery to help fund education for state.Alabama's education system is pretty poor quality and cash strapped, like many others across the country, there's a constant struggle to fund the system the way it should be. The voters voted down his proposal because they objected to legalizing gambling, however a prominent political contributor owns at least 2 dog tracks where you can not only bet on dog racing, you can bet on simulcast horse racing and play slot and poker machines. His establishments are the only ones in the state where this is permitted. hmmmmmm... looks like gambling, sounds like gambling, quacks like gambling.

The current presidential race is no exception. In a recent poll, 49 percent of Alabamians say we should have never went to war in Iraq and 46 percent say we should withdraw our troops. The same poll also shows that 67.0% are dis-satisfied with the way things are going in the country. Like myself, you probably realize that these numbers are most likely very similar across the country. What is odd about this is that Alabamians favor McCain for president over either Democratic candidate.

What?

Regardless of public belief, there is electric service, fax machines, running indoor plumbing, cable and satellite service available in the state of Alabama, not that everyone subscribes to such things, as is obvious by the results of this poll.

McCain has said repeatedly that he will continue the war in Iraq, and lately is has even supported Bush's flawed economic plan, which I propose got us in this economic situation to begin with.

While I find neither Democratic Candidate perfect, I don't think this country needs to continue down the path that Bush has taken us, which is exactly what McCain will continue to do.

Way to go Alabama, you continue to make me proud.

What's your state's score?

TP pointed me towards a recent, very interesting article that breaks out the rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered americans and gives each state a numerical score. While there are probably a few "errors" in the analysis, it at least provides some baseline information.

You can see you your state scored here: http://www.equalitygiving.org/States-of-Equality-and-Gay-Rights-Scorecard

Time for a repeal...

Don't ask, don't tell is clearly a failed policy that should have never been put into place. I'm not going into the multitude of reasons why this policy is flawed, but instead just refer to an article published by CNN and stastistics released by the military.

In 2007 in seems that the military has allowed more convicted FELONS to serve than ever before. These are people with various crimes, including a couple convicted of terrorist activities.

WAKE UP! You can honestly tell me these people are fit to serve and someone like me isn't?? I'm sorry, even at 40 I could pass any physical fitness / mental test the military could throw my way (just ignore all the surgery scars). If you are ever in a fight, I'm the guy you want backing you up and you can tell me that I can't serve and convicted felons can??

When graduating high school I came verry close to joining the Marines. Both the army and marine recruiters made several trips to my house, but because I knew what I would face being gay, I changed my mind. When I greaduated from undergrad, I once again considered joining, if even the reserves, but again the military's policies deterred me.

Come on America...

Green Green Green

and I'm not talking about money...

Someone has said that when a society has ample food, they become obese. This is obvious by looking around at the average member of our society. Obesity is rampant, not only in adults, but unfortunately our children.

We could imply that same principle to natural resources. For centuries we have used the earth's resources like there is an endless supply and now thanks to Al Gore and others who are basically giving us a slap in the face, we are beginning to see the effects of this "Environmental Gluttony." Not only is there horrible effects on the environment, but the supply is certainly not endless. A recent expert predicted that if the current rate of consumption growth of oil, the supply will be gone in my lifetime.

TP and I have changed some of our habits in a way to do our part in reducing our consumption.

- Replaced our windows with energy efficient windows
- Replaced all our appliances with more efficient models
- Replaced our AC unit with a more efficient model
- We recycle everything we can
- We use our own grocery bags when we shop (http://baggubag.com/)

Some of things I'm planning...
- buying an alternative fuel vehicle the next time I purchase
- walking more to the gym
- installing electronic thermostats in the house
- replacing our light bulbs with energy efficient ones

On the financial side, for those stock market investors, investing in Green Technology is a way to go. With the big push for these technologies, it is hard to see how this would not pay off.

Let's strive to leave the world a little bit better than how we found it.

Special rights

One of the arguements that has risen up during this time of trying to get ENDA passed is that of "special rights". Conservatives have been using this arguement saying that granting employment discrimination rights for the gay, lesbian and transgender citizens would in essense be considered granting special rights to a "special group".

I find this ironic when looking at the marriage issue. Could we are gay and lesbians not use this arguement for our case in support of gay marriage? I propose that the rights given to ONLY heterosexuals (or those choosing to marry someone of the opposite sex) should be equate to "special rights for a special group".

According to most legal references, there are approximately 1400 rights granted to "married" couples that no one else is entitled.

For example here are a few of them:

Joint parental rights of children
Joint adoption
Status as "next-of-kin" for hospital visits and medical decisions
Right to make a decision about the disposal of loved ones remains
Immigration and residency for partners from other countries
Crime victims recovery benefits
Domestic violence protection orders
Judicial protections and immunity
Automatic inheritance in the absence of a will
Public safety officers death benefits
Spousal veterans benefits
Social Security
Medicare
Joint filing of tax returns
Wrongful death benefits for surviving partner and children
Bereavement or sick leave to care for partner or children
Child support
Joint Insurance Plans
Tax credits including: Child tax credit, Hope and lifetime learning credits
Deferred Compensation for pension and IRAs
Estate and gift tax benefits
Welfare and public assistance
Joint housing for elderly
Credit protection
Medical care for survivors and dependents of certain veterans
Family medical leave to care for a sick spouse (not legally married, not legally spouse)

Perhaps instead of letting this arguement be used to our detriment, we use it for our good.

I want to be a part of it......

Out of all the places I've been, I've never had the opportunity to visit NYC, until last week. TP, knowing I had never been, and knowing that NYC is one place I had always wanted to visit planned a trip for us. We actually got to enjoy the city with several of our Houston friends and see friends from Philly.

Everything I had imagined about NYC is certainly true. When first arriving and trying to take everything in it is a bit overwhelming, but once you settle into the pace of city, the overwhelming nature settles down and the city comes alive.

We did the normal tourist stuff... visited Central Park, Grand Central Station, Rockefellar plaza, shopping on 5th avenue, rushed through Time Square, etc, etc. We also enjoyed a couple of broadway shows. Thursday we had front row seats to "Xanadu" http://xanaduonbroadway.com/. Very entertaining and full of laughs. Saturday we saw the fantastic new musical "Spring Awakening" http://www.springawakening.com/. If you get the opportunity I highly recommend this show. The music is great, the lighting amazing and the story itself is one we can all relate to in one way or another.

We also indulged into the night life attending Black Party on Saturday night and Allegria on Sunday. Black Party wasn't as "over the top" as I expected, but I suppose it could have been had I chosen it to be so. Allegria was way crowded in it's new home of Webster Hall, but a cool old space on it's own.

I found the people of New York very friendly and outgoing, and the men very good looking with great bodies, but I wouldn't trade 10 of them from the one I have!

All in all a wonderful trip and place I certainly will visit again.

Kudos award of the day goes to....

http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20080316/local/the-unlikely-rebel

Sally, Sally, Sally

We have all been bombarded with the words of our elected official Sally Kern. Ms. Kern eloquently pointed out that homosexuality is the biggest threat to our American Society and that homosexuals are less equal than other citizens of this country. Also that the "homosexual agenda" has been indoctrinating 2 year olds in our schools with acceptance of homosexuality.

Wow Sally, thanks for that. Up until now I had always heard that our constitution said something about "all men are created equal". I guess I was incorrect. You also reminded me to call and request my copy of the "homosexual agenda" that I've never received. Maybe it was just lost in the mail. I also wasn't aware that 2 year olds were attending school. I guess in OK they start early.

She also said something about every civilization that had accepted homosexuals ceased to exist and there is documented proof of this. REALLY??? I need to go revisit my history and anthropology class notes because again, I missed that one.

Ms. Kern's (who is married to a Baptist minister) remarks do nothing but incite hatred, bigotry and discrimination. Her remarks fully display her ignorance. Perhaps this ignorance could be assisted by her husband? If she does a little reading she will discover that the Bible teaches love and acceptance, particularly to those who are different from yourself, but hey, people have been "selectively interpreting" the Bible to suit their personal needs and beliefs for years.

Another sad point to all of this is that it is rumored that Sally Kern has a gay son that she has disavowed. This may be the answer to all her hatred spewing as of late. In psychological terms, perhaps she feels she failed as a parent and is now out to attempt to "correct" this by spreading hate instead of showing love and acceptance.

I think Sally just needs a big 'ol HUG.

New Saturday morning cartoon

As some people know, I generally give people I see on a regular basis a nickname. Usually something that can identify the person easily. Based on the nicknames for the people at my current gym, I've decided to write a saturday morning cartoon, although these characters might be more appropriate for Adult Swim. I don't claim responsibility for all of these nicknames, just a few are mine, the others came from sources I'd rather not incriminate.

First there is "HR puff and drunk". He's the big gay boy bodybuilder who has way to much fat. He is often seen out at local clubs being a "sloppy drunk".

Second is "OGD" = Old geezer dementia. This guy is about 75, has a strange gait and strikes up loud inappropriate conversations with anyone, no matter how hard you try to avoid him.

Next is "LugNut". He is build like a, you guessed it, a lug nut. Short, stocky. He may be a nice guy, but I know him as Lugnut.

Then there is "BigBear". The big bear guy that stares a hole through me while I work out.

Let's not forget "Flatbill" - the hot ripped guy who always wears black, a black cap with a flat bill. Very hot guy... to much attitude.

One of the new characters lately, "SB" or shower boy - the hot young guy who puts on a show for me every now and then....

"Turtle Brothers" = not actually brothers, but often at the gym at the same time. One has a great body and would be very good looking if he had a chin impant. The other, not sure if the chin implant would help.

"Ferret" = the guy who looks like he is smuggling an animal in his shorts.

"Whistle Britches" = recently learned that nickname from someone else, but very appropriate. Short, ripped, stocky, spandex shorts and tight shirt that shows everything. Most guys shouldn't wear spandex... he can whenever he wants!

There are many other characters that I just haven't come up with a name as of yet, but will. Right now I need to go buy some bear repellant, a waterproof camera and a small animal trap.

Spoke on condition of...

anonymity because they are not authorized to speak to the media...

These seem to be the words most often used in news stories these days. In other words... "believe what you want, I could have made this stuff up and you can't verify what I'm saying."

Birmingham Mayor and Ryan Idol... oh my!

It seems it is politics as usual in the great state of Alabama. Seems that money from one of the newly elected Mayor's "charities" ended up in the bank account of none other than Ryan Idol. Funny how things like this happen.

http://www.al.com/news/birminghamnews/index.ssf?/base/news/1203412513231020.xml&coll=2

" WE ARE FAMILY"

This year marks an important event for America. It is election year, just in case you haven’t noticed, however the last several years have been marked by politicians and religious leaders stepping up to the microphone and dishing out their rhetoric about protecting “family values”. Hence GW knucklehead proposed we amend the constitution to deny the right to marry to homosexuals in the name of protecting the “family”. So just what is family?

In my head I know what the term means to me, but I decided to dig a little deeper. First I turned to the good ol’ standby, Webster’s dictionary (correctly called the Merriam Webster’s in today’s world). 1: a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head : Household 2 a: a group of persons of common ancestry : Clan b: a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock : Race 3 a: a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation : Fellowship.

More research reveals that family has many definitions, due to the complexity of society. The true definition can depend on if you are trying to define family terms of economics, religious, psychological or medical, just to name a few.

Since I’m a medical guy, Medical.net defines family as: 1. A group of individuals related by blood or marriage or by a feeling of closeness. 2. A biological classification of related plants or animals that is a division below the order and above the genus. 3. A group of genes related in structure and in function that descended from an ancestral gene. 4. A group of gene products similarly related in structure and function and of shared genetic descent. 5. Parents and their children.

Many people say today that the family is an arbitrary cultural structure. As society changes, so does the family. In Biblical times, the family was a patriarchal clan - a man with his wives and concubines, and their many children. Through most of history, the family changed to encompass a monogamous couple raising their children.

However, in today’s society, ever influenced by technology and our ability to easily travel the globe and communicate with each other almost effortlessly, family has certainly evolved. Therefore a new definition is emerging "a group of people held together by bonds of love and affection." This definition encompasses a variety of family forms: a man and a woman, married and unmarried, with or without children, gay and lesbian couples, singles, with and without children, and even larger groups of individuals in various communal living arrangements. According to this view, what is important is not the actual family structure, but the quality of the relationships.

In fact if you look at the definition of family adopted by the National Institute of Mental Health in the 1990’s, family is defined as a “Network of Mutual Commitment”.

So back to the politicians and religious leaders who often define family only in “traditional terms” applying to heterosexual couple with children. In fact the Catholic Church gives very little recognition to the single parent family, even if the person is a heterosexual female, who has never married and has chosen to adopt. I personally reject that notion.

Growing up and coming out I realized that my family did not only consist of my parents and siblings. When I looked around I recognized my family as those with whom I have meaningful relationships. When I look at my friends and know that they would be there for me in a time of need, and I would do the same for them, that is family, perhaps extended family, but family all the same.

So while reading all these definitions and viewpoints, one of the most interesting definition I ran across was this: “The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State” (United Nations, 1948).

Teary..

GB and I recently found out that a mutual acquaintance passed away. We knew him seperately, but with this being such a "small gay world" we both knew him. I knew him through a former roommate who dated him for well over a year. Through my interactions with him and the bits and pieces I got from my friend, I knew he had some personal issues, and I suspect they were due to growing up gay. I do not know the full story, but I hear he had a horrible childhood.

Depsite his bad childhood, he was the typical gay man, driven to be successful. Graduated at the top of his class from law school and made partner at a young age. Unfortunately his personal life wasn't as successful. His relationships never seemed to blossum. During my interactions with him I found him very intelligent, thoughtful and not to mention VERY attractive.

When I first heard of his death, although I haven't seen him in a couple of years, I immediately suspected suicide. We received confirmation today. His partner found him at their lake house.

It is simply devastating that anything like this should happen to anyone. I'm in tears thinking of what he must have gone through as a child and growing up gay, obviously without the support he needed from his family / friends.

I was lucky enough to know at an early age that I was gay, and when I came out to my family they could not have been more supportive. I can still hear my dad telling me at 16 "I may not understand it, but you are still my son and I love you." If only everyone could hear those words when they need to.

If anyone ever wonders why kids growing up questioning their sexuality need support and education, this is an example why. This again makes me think of all the people who in world who "preach" and "teach" that homosexuality is wrong, unnatural and can be cured. I just want to thump them in the head and say "wake up".

Peace be with you MS.

We date the hot ones and hope they aren't crazy

This, for the most part, applies to gay and straight men. We usually choose to go out with or date people we find the most sexually attractive and hope they don't turn out to be crazy. It is a crap shoot. Usually the first 2 - 3 dates go okay, unless they are really bonkers before the real psychopathic behaviors become evident. Like pervasive activities that lead you to believe the person has stalker tendencies. Little notes left on your car, 4 -5 messages on your voicemail in a period of 2-3 hours, or unexpectedly running into them while your are out with your friends. Perhaps they may have anger issues. On the 4th date you sitting in traffic and their head spins around 3 - 4 times and profanities you have never heard in your life pour out of their mouth like Vodka at a gathering for gay men. Sometimes it may even be the gunshots and the bullet holes found afterwards that get your attention. (The last one actually happened to me, but I was 4 - 5 years into the relationship before I fully grasp the situation).

Then there is the "Looks / Brains" ratio. Most men really strive hard to strike a an acceptable balance in this department. You want someone hot, but you don't want them so dumb they can't find there way out of a parking garage. For some a 60% looks and 30% smarts might be OK. That usually translates to they are attractive enough to get compliments by your friends, smart enough to carry on a decent conversation, but they can still embarass you from time to time. Then again, most men don't want someone to much smarter than they are themselves. It can lead to situations that you just can't win.

In my situation the ratio simply doesn't apply. GB is very hot and very smart, in fact I think he is smarter than myself and I'm ok with that because he doesn't make me feel dumb. I can accomplish that on my own. With GB it would be a 1:1 ratio, Hottness = Smarts. I think I scored big time in this department.

This thing called life...

It has been quite a while since I posted anything about what going on in my personal life, it is time I catch everyone up - at least the few people who will read this.

Over 2 years ago I found my self dissatisfied with many aspects of my life, my career, the city I was living in, and my love life. Although I had great friends, it was time I spread my wings and ventured out into the world.

I began interviewing for jobs around the country, and after much debate I reluctantly agreed to an interview in Houston Texas. I was asking myself "why am I going to Houston? I know nothing about the city, I know noone there and it is HOT!" Turns out it was the second best decision I ever made for myself. The first being getting away from my ex of 8 years.

Since arriving I found a job that I enjoy (for the most part), more great friends I met GB, who I have a fantastic relationship with. He is also known to me as TP (total package). It is so refreshing being in a mature, mutually repectful relationship that continues to grow and evolve as we do as individuals and as a couple.

GB and I have also began a new life quest together - becoming Dad's. That topic deserves a post alone, so I'll save the details for later.

While being here there have been some negatives. I don't get to see my friends and family from home as much as I would like and I had to say goodbye to my longtime companion of 14 years - Maggie. Isn't it amazing how a dog can add so much to your life? She has been gone for over a year, and I still find myself looking for her at times and even shedding a little tear for her.

For me, life is better than ever. With my close friends and GB in life, I'm sure it will continue to be so.

Super - Duper

It is super Tuesday, so I feel obliged to think about politics today. A very touchy subject to discuss at dinner or even with family.

Instead of doing the obvious, I'm not going to talk about who I favor at this point, instead I'm going to talk about the candidate that I have named "the village idiot", also known as Mike Huckabee.

I admit, I really haven't taken much time to get to know the man, frankly what little I do know about him disgust me to the point where I have no desire to hear about any of his positions, his background, ambitions or even his shoe size. The village idiot has voiced his hate mongering views on more than one occasion. This is a man who has stated that HIV patients should be quarantined. This is also a man that has publicly stated that he wants to amend the constitution to reflect God's laws. OK.. in this land of the free and numerous religions, which "God's Laws" does he desire to force upon us? Oh wait.. never mind, just the laws his particular religion hold true.

How is that different from the radical Islams who want to force their "God's Laws" on everyone and are willing to kill millions in order to achieve this goal.

People who think in this manner are very scarey. Their voices continue to demonize homosexuality or anyone that is different from them.

"TAP TAP TAP" Hello village Idiot... it is called the future, how about trying to embrace it and spread love and acceptance instead of hate and fear.

Give and take

In the past several years there has been shift of loyalty among employers / employees.

Employees are often "looking for the next best thing" or are not going the extra mile for their employers. Working late hours, coming in on off days when a coworker is ill etc.

On the other side of the coin is the employer who doesn't give the "loyal" employee the time off they need or support they may need in a rough situation either at work or at home.

Long gone are the times where a person worked for a company for 35 - 40 years through thick and thin and the employers who say "take the time you need" when some catastrophic occurs.

The question I pose is this: Which came first, the employees "disloyalty" or the employers?

Goodbye John Paul II.

The Pope, regarded by some as the greatest Pope in history is passing on to touch the face of God. While not born Catholic, and not the poster child for catholism, I can appreciate what this figure has done for spirtualality in our time. I was raised in a Holiness church and a few years ago, I became Catholic. This was influenced highly by the teachings of John Paul, II. I certainly have run a "gammet" of Christianity. He was able to relate to "people" in awhile most other religious figures only dream of. While holding true to the teachings of the church he has been a valuable influence in the world. From his "polictical" power to being able to relate to people of all faiths.

I certainly do not believe in everything that is passed down by the Vatican, but I can recognize that this has certainly a special individual. A time in history that we should remember.

Peace be with you Holy Father.

Goodbye John Paul II.

The Pope, regarded by some as the greatest Pope in history is passing on to touch the face of God. While not born Catholic, and not the poster child for catholism, I can appreciate what this figure has done for spirtualality in our time. I was raised in a Holiness church and a few years ago, I became Catholic. This was influenced highly by the teachings of John Paul, II. I certainly have run a "gammet" of Christianity. He was able to relate to "people" in awhile most other religious figures only dream of. While holding true to the teachings of the church he has been a valuable influence in the world. From his "polictical" power to being able to relate to people of all faiths.

I certainly do not believe in everything that is passed down by the Vatican, but I can recognize that this has certainly a special individual. A time in history that we should remember.

Peace be with you Holy Father.

HAPPY EASTER....

Well AJ is away in DC enjoying the big city life. I'm here in this little place basically spending the holiday alone. I went out last night only because AJ encouraged me, but as usual, it was a sideshow. There were a lot of people from out of town due to the big softball tourney, and actually met some seemingly nice people, with which I spent our entire conversation telling them how much I missed AJ.

Oh well. HAPPY EASTER everyone. Let's take today and be thankful for the things in our lives that are meaningful.