Daddy and Poppa

9 days ago we were in LA for an exciting event. MONTHS of planning finally culminated into this one event. Hours had been spent arranging the various schedules and timing necessary to make this happen. Bringing together 1 egg donor, 1 surrogate, 2 hopeful dads an IVF physician and his staff.

The event itself was undramatic. A few days before our IVF doc had done an egg retrieval and fertilized the eggs with semen from TP and myself. This day, after months of waiting and hours of work, the procedure took less than 10 minutes, not including the bed rest for our surrogate. We spent the next day killing time and getting to know our surrogate and her daughter better and then reluctantly put them on a plane for them to return to their home.

Today was the end of one chapter in this long story. Today was the day we discovered that Melinda, our surrogate is indeed pregnant. Earlier this week, in honor of TP's birthday, Melinda did pee on a stick and as she suspected it would, it turned. We were patient until today's lab test which did confirm what we already knew.... we are officially pregnant! The question is.... one or two?? We will know that in a few weeks.

At the moment, it is time to reveille in the moment... WE ARE GOING TO BE DAD'S!!

Finally, it happened to me.....

I mentioned in a previous post that TP and I had begun the process to become Dads. We have been working with a surrogacy agency for 18+ months and we have had our share of ups and downs. The bright spot in this entire process has been our wonderful surrogate, who we couldn't have made from scratch and she turn out better. She is an awesome lady with a fantastic family. She has hung in there with us through the twist and turns of this process.

We found out today that our transfer is scheduled for next week. This is our first real shot at trying to become dads. Of course it will be about 2 weeks after the transfer before we find out if our surrogate is pregnant.

I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep for 3 weeks.

Right now we are faced with making last minute changes to our previous travel plans, which is frustrating, but I am trying to remind myself, this is a time to be happy and enjoy the moment. Let the little things slide.

Excuse me while I dance around the room.... Can I get a little Tony Moran??

"You get a big stick and poke it"

In the words of Ernest T. Bass, that is how you get a possum out of a hole. Now the question is how do you get one out of your pool and your garage?

A few weeks back TP noticed we had a new pet living in the back yard. A baby possum had decided to start hanging out. In fact we were having dinner with friends outside one evening and this new pet decides to walk right beside our little dinner party. This prompted one of our friends to discuss fishing dead animals out of his pool.

The very next morning I was looking out the window and noticed something in the pool that I couldn't identify. I went out and found our new pet was in the pool, unfortunately he hadn't signed up for his swimming lessons at the Y and was on the bottom of the pool. Not sure if he decided to get some exercise or was just running from our ferocious cat, but either way he might as well be swimming the English Channel. I told TP to look on the bright side, if he had fallen in the hot tub we would've had possum stew!

Monday night I open the kitchen door into the garage to take out the recycling. Trotting across the garage floor was a relative of the bad swimmer. Of course being the chicken butt that I am TP has to come and proceed to track him down. In order to prevent him from running out from the stuff he was behind and hiding someplace else, TP constructed what looked like a cattle shoot out of my scrap lumber. I armed myself with a rake being that he weighed maybe 2 pounds I had to be prepared. TP chased him out and of course he runs around the cattle shoot and heads under tools, chased from there he comes directly at me. Armed with my rake and honed safari skills I scooped him up and tossed him out of the garage, (I may have wet myself a little). The little ugly furry fella scurried away.

After all this all I could do was compare myself and my rake to Ernest T and his big stick....

Ascension

Sunday May 4Th was what Catholics recognize as Ascension Sunday. This day has special meaning to me, other than the obvious. This is the Sunday where those are desire to be Catholic are Confirmed and allowed to share communion for the first time. This comes after almost a year of study.

The reason this day is particularly special to me is that this year it marks the 10Th year anniversary of my confirmation. I had an "interesting" journey to becoming Catholic, my earliest memories of church were with my parent and grandmother (who is now 91) in what is known as a "Free Will Baptist" church. Very fundamentalist, similar to Holiness Churches. Women are not allowed to wear pants, makeup or cut their hair and are allowed to wear very limited jewelry. Men's hair has to be a certain length as well. Speaking in "tongues" and "dancing in the spirit", (which I prefer to do on a Saturday night) is common. Tent revivals are the norm as well as not having televisions in the home. If you don't believe the way the pastor believes then you are going to hell, as with many other religions.

To experience this and through the years become more "more enlightened" and understand there was much more to religion and spirituality than what I was being spoon fed, to end up converting to Catholicism was a big stretch.

Now I look at my personal spirituality beyond mere religion, although I do subscribe to many (not all) teachings of the Catholic church. The "not all" portion of that last statement is why I am now struggling somewhat with my faith, particularly after the death of the very charismatic John Paul.

With TP and I facing starting our own family, this issues is frequently on my mind.

I look around and see many religions engaging in dialogue about homosexuality. The Episcopal church is dealing with the backlash of having appointed the first openly gay Bishop and the Methodist church has even opened up the prospect of "discussing" gay marriage. I actually am very optimistic that some religions will recognize that loving relationships between 2 committed adults should be celebrated in my lifetime. However, I don't see the Catholic church taking this step for another 100 years or so. Heck, as my priest used to point out, the Catholic Church is stuck in the 18Th century, just look at how the have the priest dress.

Seeking to bring a child / children into the world has forced me to reexamine my own faith and question what I will teach my child and wonder what impact the church will have on my child's ideology. In the end I must trust my child to have the insight I did and at some point in their life they too will make a decision about faith, spirituality and organized religion. I will teach them what I know, introduce them to my values, show them the love they deserve and hopefully open their minds beyond what they hear in church.

Have you been injured by Vioxx?

During this presidential election we have been bombarded with tons of information from candidates, all trying to show their “plan” and how they are different. All 3 have now touched on healthcare with the Democrats laying out a much more detailed plan than the Republican.

While I personally find the Republican plan totally off base (mind you I only skimmed over it), providing tax credits is a band aid solution, I do find both Democratic plans to have some merit, but I would like to offer my opinion on what all the candidates are missing in reforming healthcare. Being on the inside of healthcare for nearly 20 years, I have insight having directly seen what has happened over the years as healthcare cost have skyrocketed and quality has tanked quicker than a fat lady on the Titantic.

No one is properly addressing the frivolous lawsuit epidemic in this country. This country has the highest healthcare cost, particularly when compared with quality and highest percentage of lawsuits than any industrialized nation. Doctors alone spent $6.3 in 2000 to obtain coverage additionally hospitals spent billions more (AM Best Survey, 2001). I’m personally tired of seeing the billboards beside major highways from attorneys looking for clients. The late night TV ads displaying old men with comb-overs willing to help me with my injury claim, or even help me qualify for disability (entirely separate topic).

As a person on the front lines of healthcare it seems the ones without health insurance are the ones yelling the loudest, and looking for their attorney’s business card.

Physicians, Nurse Practitioners and Physician Assistance (just to name a few) pay out the kester for malpractice insurance as do hospitals, clinics and yes, even the big drug companies. These costs are directly passed onto consumers, (just like the oil companies).

Paying exuberant insurance premiums and “settling” lawsuits that should not have been a suit to begin with hikes medical cost. Plain and simple. Drug companies charge high prices for prescriptions to cover not only research to develop new medication, but to cover the multi billion dollar suits they face, most of which are unjustified (see silicone implant lawsuit).

In addition to paying incredible insurance premiums, hospitals and health care workers have to protect themselves by documentation, many anything and everything has to be documented. Seeing first hand what effect this can have on nursing, this does nothing but decrease the quality of healthcare. Nowadays nursed spend 60% of their time nursing the chart and not the patient, this means, lower qualified individuals have taken on the task that the nurses used to perform. So many times I’ve seen inaccurate information on a patient simply do to the person obtaining that information does not know how to interpret the info and therefore does not know if it is relevant or accurate. Instead of the nurse spending time getting to understand their patients needs, problems and issues, they are busy trying to make sure they have documented what is required and expected. This phenomenon is true throughout healthcare.

Another phenomenon that is occurring is that Physicians have begun practicing “Defense Medicine”. This means instead of doing what they know is correct and treating patients accordingly, they are ordering more and more test to substantiate what they already know. For instance instead of listening to a patient’s chest and performing and exam and diagnosing pneumonia, now a 2 view CXR is being performed, along with a CT scan just to rule out any other remote potential finding, in order to protect themselves from a lawsuit. This of course increases healthcare cost, length of time in hospitals, cost to insurance companies and increases premiums. Now $60.00 clinic visit is now over $3500.00 and took 2 days to get the information.

I am not suggesting that mistakes don’t happen in healthcare, I am simply saying that many / most lawsuits brought before the courts are unnecessary stemmed by someone trying to make a quick buck off someone’s insurance.

Somehow in this great legal system we have, legislation needs to be passed to reduce the number of lawsuits. Whether it is establishing clear guidelines, to reducing the monetary rewards an individual can collect (which some states have done), or reducing the fees attorneys can collect or perhaps fining the attorneys who repeatedly bring suits that are ruled meritless.

Concentrating on this task would be a great first step in bringing down healthcare cost, improving healthcare quality and making healthcare more affordable for everyone.

Gayborhoods, a thing of the past?

Sitting over drinks one evening I was having conversation with friends about the extinction of the Gayborhood. I witness this phenomenon in my home town, and as I have traveled around the country I’ve seen more and more of this.

When I was coming out in the 80’s and 90’s, I discovered the “gay” area of town, the part of town where gays and lesbians alike could feel at home in their own skin. These neighborhoods were generally filled with homes that were once run down that actively being renovated by gays, a park where you could, on most occasions, chat with your friends or enjoy a little cruising to find your next conquest. Also you could find a gay owned business or two, like a card shop and bookstore along with a gay bar in the general vicinity. These areas seemed to have a personality of their own.

As the years of past these once visibly prominent neighborhoods have slowly disappeared such as the “Highland” area of Birmingham and Montrose in Houston. While visiting these areas some remnants of their former selves can be seen, they are merely shadows of what they once were.

You can even visit semi legendary areas such as Dupont Circle in DC and realize that not many gay people actually live in the area. The same can be said for Boys Town in Chicago and even Chelsea in New York has seen a bit of a “face lift”.

We have to ask ourselves “why?” I often long for the feeling and the comfort I found in those places. This slow demise is what we are beginning to experience in our local gay bars as well.

We have been asking for equal rights and acceptance by those outside our communities for a long time and we have had great inroads in this journey, but is this the reason our communities are disappearing? Now that we are more and more accepted there is no need for us to retreat to our “private worlds” of parks, gay bars, restaurants and coffee shops. These days you visit an eatery once known as a “gay restaurant, chances are you will look around the room and spot one, maybe 2 gay couples. The rest will be the gay friendly / accepting crowd with their strollers, or their metrosexual outfits.

In essence we have given up something to gain something, but are we loosing are culture and identity along the way?

Censor your phone conversations please!

Picture this, I was finishing my workout yesterday and was changing in the locker room. A short, round asian man comes from the showers and his cell phone rings. This is the part of the conversation I heard (Please imagine this in your best asian accent).

Hello?

Yes, he came over last night.

He was about 40, big guy.

He charged me $150.00 for 2 hours.

I think he charges $80.00 for 1 hour.

Deep tissue, swedish.

He massaged my rectum.

I don't know why, maybe he was wanted to put something in there.

No, no, no, it too tight, it would hurt...


At this point I had to leave because I was laughing to hard. Sometimes a little decorum would be good.

Crazy in Alabama

Being a native Alabamian I've often times been baffled by the mindset and the way of thinking by most in the state. Take for instance the Lottery issue.

A former Alabama Governor who is in the news a lot lately, Don Seigelman, proposed a state lottery to help fund education for state.Alabama's education system is pretty poor quality and cash strapped, like many others across the country, there's a constant struggle to fund the system the way it should be. The voters voted down his proposal because they objected to legalizing gambling, however a prominent political contributor owns at least 2 dog tracks where you can not only bet on dog racing, you can bet on simulcast horse racing and play slot and poker machines. His establishments are the only ones in the state where this is permitted. hmmmmmm... looks like gambling, sounds like gambling, quacks like gambling.

The current presidential race is no exception. In a recent poll, 49 percent of Alabamians say we should have never went to war in Iraq and 46 percent say we should withdraw our troops. The same poll also shows that 67.0% are dis-satisfied with the way things are going in the country. Like myself, you probably realize that these numbers are most likely very similar across the country. What is odd about this is that Alabamians favor McCain for president over either Democratic candidate.

What?

Regardless of public belief, there is electric service, fax machines, running indoor plumbing, cable and satellite service available in the state of Alabama, not that everyone subscribes to such things, as is obvious by the results of this poll.

McCain has said repeatedly that he will continue the war in Iraq, and lately is has even supported Bush's flawed economic plan, which I propose got us in this economic situation to begin with.

While I find neither Democratic Candidate perfect, I don't think this country needs to continue down the path that Bush has taken us, which is exactly what McCain will continue to do.

Way to go Alabama, you continue to make me proud.

What's your state's score?

TP pointed me towards a recent, very interesting article that breaks out the rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered americans and gives each state a numerical score. While there are probably a few "errors" in the analysis, it at least provides some baseline information.

You can see you your state scored here: http://www.equalitygiving.org/States-of-Equality-and-Gay-Rights-Scorecard

Time for a repeal...

Don't ask, don't tell is clearly a failed policy that should have never been put into place. I'm not going into the multitude of reasons why this policy is flawed, but instead just refer to an article published by CNN and stastistics released by the military.

In 2007 in seems that the military has allowed more convicted FELONS to serve than ever before. These are people with various crimes, including a couple convicted of terrorist activities.

WAKE UP! You can honestly tell me these people are fit to serve and someone like me isn't?? I'm sorry, even at 40 I could pass any physical fitness / mental test the military could throw my way (just ignore all the surgery scars). If you are ever in a fight, I'm the guy you want backing you up and you can tell me that I can't serve and convicted felons can??

When graduating high school I came verry close to joining the Marines. Both the army and marine recruiters made several trips to my house, but because I knew what I would face being gay, I changed my mind. When I greaduated from undergrad, I once again considered joining, if even the reserves, but again the military's policies deterred me.

Come on America...

Green Green Green

and I'm not talking about money...

Someone has said that when a society has ample food, they become obese. This is obvious by looking around at the average member of our society. Obesity is rampant, not only in adults, but unfortunately our children.

We could imply that same principle to natural resources. For centuries we have used the earth's resources like there is an endless supply and now thanks to Al Gore and others who are basically giving us a slap in the face, we are beginning to see the effects of this "Environmental Gluttony." Not only is there horrible effects on the environment, but the supply is certainly not endless. A recent expert predicted that if the current rate of consumption growth of oil, the supply will be gone in my lifetime.

TP and I have changed some of our habits in a way to do our part in reducing our consumption.

- Replaced our windows with energy efficient windows
- Replaced all our appliances with more efficient models
- Replaced our AC unit with a more efficient model
- We recycle everything we can
- We use our own grocery bags when we shop (http://baggubag.com/)

Some of things I'm planning...
- buying an alternative fuel vehicle the next time I purchase
- walking more to the gym
- installing electronic thermostats in the house
- replacing our light bulbs with energy efficient ones

On the financial side, for those stock market investors, investing in Green Technology is a way to go. With the big push for these technologies, it is hard to see how this would not pay off.

Let's strive to leave the world a little bit better than how we found it.

Special rights

One of the arguements that has risen up during this time of trying to get ENDA passed is that of "special rights". Conservatives have been using this arguement saying that granting employment discrimination rights for the gay, lesbian and transgender citizens would in essense be considered granting special rights to a "special group".

I find this ironic when looking at the marriage issue. Could we are gay and lesbians not use this arguement for our case in support of gay marriage? I propose that the rights given to ONLY heterosexuals (or those choosing to marry someone of the opposite sex) should be equate to "special rights for a special group".

According to most legal references, there are approximately 1400 rights granted to "married" couples that no one else is entitled.

For example here are a few of them:

Joint parental rights of children
Joint adoption
Status as "next-of-kin" for hospital visits and medical decisions
Right to make a decision about the disposal of loved ones remains
Immigration and residency for partners from other countries
Crime victims recovery benefits
Domestic violence protection orders
Judicial protections and immunity
Automatic inheritance in the absence of a will
Public safety officers death benefits
Spousal veterans benefits
Social Security
Medicare
Joint filing of tax returns
Wrongful death benefits for surviving partner and children
Bereavement or sick leave to care for partner or children
Child support
Joint Insurance Plans
Tax credits including: Child tax credit, Hope and lifetime learning credits
Deferred Compensation for pension and IRAs
Estate and gift tax benefits
Welfare and public assistance
Joint housing for elderly
Credit protection
Medical care for survivors and dependents of certain veterans
Family medical leave to care for a sick spouse (not legally married, not legally spouse)

Perhaps instead of letting this arguement be used to our detriment, we use it for our good.

I want to be a part of it......

Out of all the places I've been, I've never had the opportunity to visit NYC, until last week. TP, knowing I had never been, and knowing that NYC is one place I had always wanted to visit planned a trip for us. We actually got to enjoy the city with several of our Houston friends and see friends from Philly.

Everything I had imagined about NYC is certainly true. When first arriving and trying to take everything in it is a bit overwhelming, but once you settle into the pace of city, the overwhelming nature settles down and the city comes alive.

We did the normal tourist stuff... visited Central Park, Grand Central Station, Rockefellar plaza, shopping on 5th avenue, rushed through Time Square, etc, etc. We also enjoyed a couple of broadway shows. Thursday we had front row seats to "Xanadu" http://xanaduonbroadway.com/. Very entertaining and full of laughs. Saturday we saw the fantastic new musical "Spring Awakening" http://www.springawakening.com/. If you get the opportunity I highly recommend this show. The music is great, the lighting amazing and the story itself is one we can all relate to in one way or another.

We also indulged into the night life attending Black Party on Saturday night and Allegria on Sunday. Black Party wasn't as "over the top" as I expected, but I suppose it could have been had I chosen it to be so. Allegria was way crowded in it's new home of Webster Hall, but a cool old space on it's own.

I found the people of New York very friendly and outgoing, and the men very good looking with great bodies, but I wouldn't trade 10 of them from the one I have!

All in all a wonderful trip and place I certainly will visit again.

Kudos award of the day goes to....

http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20080316/local/the-unlikely-rebel

Sally, Sally, Sally

We have all been bombarded with the words of our elected official Sally Kern. Ms. Kern eloquently pointed out that homosexuality is the biggest threat to our American Society and that homosexuals are less equal than other citizens of this country. Also that the "homosexual agenda" has been indoctrinating 2 year olds in our schools with acceptance of homosexuality.

Wow Sally, thanks for that. Up until now I had always heard that our constitution said something about "all men are created equal". I guess I was incorrect. You also reminded me to call and request my copy of the "homosexual agenda" that I've never received. Maybe it was just lost in the mail. I also wasn't aware that 2 year olds were attending school. I guess in OK they start early.

She also said something about every civilization that had accepted homosexuals ceased to exist and there is documented proof of this. REALLY??? I need to go revisit my history and anthropology class notes because again, I missed that one.

Ms. Kern's (who is married to a Baptist minister) remarks do nothing but incite hatred, bigotry and discrimination. Her remarks fully display her ignorance. Perhaps this ignorance could be assisted by her husband? If she does a little reading she will discover that the Bible teaches love and acceptance, particularly to those who are different from yourself, but hey, people have been "selectively interpreting" the Bible to suit their personal needs and beliefs for years.

Another sad point to all of this is that it is rumored that Sally Kern has a gay son that she has disavowed. This may be the answer to all her hatred spewing as of late. In psychological terms, perhaps she feels she failed as a parent and is now out to attempt to "correct" this by spreading hate instead of showing love and acceptance.

I think Sally just needs a big 'ol HUG.

New Saturday morning cartoon

As some people know, I generally give people I see on a regular basis a nickname. Usually something that can identify the person easily. Based on the nicknames for the people at my current gym, I've decided to write a saturday morning cartoon, although these characters might be more appropriate for Adult Swim. I don't claim responsibility for all of these nicknames, just a few are mine, the others came from sources I'd rather not incriminate.

First there is "HR puff and drunk". He's the big gay boy bodybuilder who has way to much fat. He is often seen out at local clubs being a "sloppy drunk".

Second is "OGD" = Old geezer dementia. This guy is about 75, has a strange gait and strikes up loud inappropriate conversations with anyone, no matter how hard you try to avoid him.

Next is "LugNut". He is build like a, you guessed it, a lug nut. Short, stocky. He may be a nice guy, but I know him as Lugnut.

Then there is "BigBear". The big bear guy that stares a hole through me while I work out.

Let's not forget "Flatbill" - the hot ripped guy who always wears black, a black cap with a flat bill. Very hot guy... to much attitude.

One of the new characters lately, "SB" or shower boy - the hot young guy who puts on a show for me every now and then....

"Turtle Brothers" = not actually brothers, but often at the gym at the same time. One has a great body and would be very good looking if he had a chin impant. The other, not sure if the chin implant would help.

"Ferret" = the guy who looks like he is smuggling an animal in his shorts.

"Whistle Britches" = recently learned that nickname from someone else, but very appropriate. Short, ripped, stocky, spandex shorts and tight shirt that shows everything. Most guys shouldn't wear spandex... he can whenever he wants!

There are many other characters that I just haven't come up with a name as of yet, but will. Right now I need to go buy some bear repellant, a waterproof camera and a small animal trap.

Spoke on condition of...

anonymity because they are not authorized to speak to the media...

These seem to be the words most often used in news stories these days. In other words... "believe what you want, I could have made this stuff up and you can't verify what I'm saying."

Birmingham Mayor and Ryan Idol... oh my!

It seems it is politics as usual in the great state of Alabama. Seems that money from one of the newly elected Mayor's "charities" ended up in the bank account of none other than Ryan Idol. Funny how things like this happen.

http://www.al.com/news/birminghamnews/index.ssf?/base/news/1203412513231020.xml&coll=2

" WE ARE FAMILY"

This year marks an important event for America. It is election year, just in case you haven’t noticed, however the last several years have been marked by politicians and religious leaders stepping up to the microphone and dishing out their rhetoric about protecting “family values”. Hence GW knucklehead proposed we amend the constitution to deny the right to marry to homosexuals in the name of protecting the “family”. So just what is family?

In my head I know what the term means to me, but I decided to dig a little deeper. First I turned to the good ol’ standby, Webster’s dictionary (correctly called the Merriam Webster’s in today’s world). 1: a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head : Household 2 a: a group of persons of common ancestry : Clan b: a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock : Race 3 a: a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation : Fellowship.

More research reveals that family has many definitions, due to the complexity of society. The true definition can depend on if you are trying to define family terms of economics, religious, psychological or medical, just to name a few.

Since I’m a medical guy, Medical.net defines family as: 1. A group of individuals related by blood or marriage or by a feeling of closeness. 2. A biological classification of related plants or animals that is a division below the order and above the genus. 3. A group of genes related in structure and in function that descended from an ancestral gene. 4. A group of gene products similarly related in structure and function and of shared genetic descent. 5. Parents and their children.

Many people say today that the family is an arbitrary cultural structure. As society changes, so does the family. In Biblical times, the family was a patriarchal clan - a man with his wives and concubines, and their many children. Through most of history, the family changed to encompass a monogamous couple raising their children.

However, in today’s society, ever influenced by technology and our ability to easily travel the globe and communicate with each other almost effortlessly, family has certainly evolved. Therefore a new definition is emerging "a group of people held together by bonds of love and affection." This definition encompasses a variety of family forms: a man and a woman, married and unmarried, with or without children, gay and lesbian couples, singles, with and without children, and even larger groups of individuals in various communal living arrangements. According to this view, what is important is not the actual family structure, but the quality of the relationships.

In fact if you look at the definition of family adopted by the National Institute of Mental Health in the 1990’s, family is defined as a “Network of Mutual Commitment”.

So back to the politicians and religious leaders who often define family only in “traditional terms” applying to heterosexual couple with children. In fact the Catholic Church gives very little recognition to the single parent family, even if the person is a heterosexual female, who has never married and has chosen to adopt. I personally reject that notion.

Growing up and coming out I realized that my family did not only consist of my parents and siblings. When I looked around I recognized my family as those with whom I have meaningful relationships. When I look at my friends and know that they would be there for me in a time of need, and I would do the same for them, that is family, perhaps extended family, but family all the same.

So while reading all these definitions and viewpoints, one of the most interesting definition I ran across was this: “The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State” (United Nations, 1948).

Teary..

GB and I recently found out that a mutual acquaintance passed away. We knew him seperately, but with this being such a "small gay world" we both knew him. I knew him through a former roommate who dated him for well over a year. Through my interactions with him and the bits and pieces I got from my friend, I knew he had some personal issues, and I suspect they were due to growing up gay. I do not know the full story, but I hear he had a horrible childhood.

Depsite his bad childhood, he was the typical gay man, driven to be successful. Graduated at the top of his class from law school and made partner at a young age. Unfortunately his personal life wasn't as successful. His relationships never seemed to blossum. During my interactions with him I found him very intelligent, thoughtful and not to mention VERY attractive.

When I first heard of his death, although I haven't seen him in a couple of years, I immediately suspected suicide. We received confirmation today. His partner found him at their lake house.

It is simply devastating that anything like this should happen to anyone. I'm in tears thinking of what he must have gone through as a child and growing up gay, obviously without the support he needed from his family / friends.

I was lucky enough to know at an early age that I was gay, and when I came out to my family they could not have been more supportive. I can still hear my dad telling me at 16 "I may not understand it, but you are still my son and I love you." If only everyone could hear those words when they need to.

If anyone ever wonders why kids growing up questioning their sexuality need support and education, this is an example why. This again makes me think of all the people who in world who "preach" and "teach" that homosexuality is wrong, unnatural and can be cured. I just want to thump them in the head and say "wake up".

Peace be with you MS.