'Distribution of Wealth"

I"ve received numerous emails in the past week from the Democratic Party regarding the recent tax deal. Every email has something in common, use of the phrase "Distribution of Wealth."

I find the use of this phrase reprehensible. While I consider myself a democrat in most ways, the views of democratic party regarding taxes is off base.

I personally do not fall in the wealthy category by the current standards (i.e. individual making over 200,000.00 a year), however everything I have achieved I've worked extremely hard to obtain by taking care of the sick and injured. The notion that part of my limited success could one day be "distributed" to others that have not worked as hard as myself is disheartening.

This country was built on the premise that hard work creates success, and sometimes wealth comes with that success. "Distributing wealth" flies in the face of this premise and does nothing but encourages complacence among the American people.

Perhaps as a country we should look at leveling the playing field and treat everyone equally by embracing a flat tax rate.

WAKE UP!!!!

I must admit, this teen suicide business has really been on my mind a lot. I'm about to share something, that many people do not know, but I'm sure it will become evident why this subject is "troubling".

I grew up always knowing I was different, it would be a long time before I realized I was gay, but just because I knew it, didn't mean that I didn't want to fit in. As I became a teenager and started middle school, I dreamed of fitting in. Take it, I was never bullied, only occasionally called names, but none the same, I felt as an outcast.

During the 8th grade I remember asking my mom to sew "rebel" on the back of one of my jackets. I was desperate to be "cool" and someone who seemed like one of the regular guys. At some point I got it in my head, that maybe I would come across as more "normal" if I did things I saw others do. I specifically thought (through pubescent bad reasoning) that maybe if I presented myself as one of the "stoners" I would find some friends.

To carry out this task, I looked through my moms medications and actually grabbed a PDR (at least I did some research). I managed to find her Amitriptyline and reading about it. HMMMMM... maybe this will help. I carefully planned out which day I was going to do this, it happened to be a day I had a civics test. Somewhere between 1st and 2nd period i grabbed the Amitriptyline from my pocket and found a water fountain. There, done, all 11 tabs, 10mg each I believe. I then went in to take my exam. Somewhere along the way everything becomes a blur. I remotely remember asking to go to the rest room because I was nauseated. I remember being back in class and Mr. Valakis asking me if I were OK. The next thing I remember was waking up in my hospital room with both of my parents looking worryingly at me, which was very unusual at this point in my life. My parents were divorced and usually only talked to argue over child support or visitation. So to have both of them in the same room, not arguing was serious.

The next morning my doc came around and took me out to the hall to ask me what happened and I made up some lame story about someone giving me some hard candy. There was no way I was going to share anything with this guy.

My mom took me home and on several occasions she would ask me about it again. I stuck to my story for awhile, but eventually I told her I took the meds (probably years later). My dad never really talked about the incident.

I was just not ready to share with them my thoughts, fears, worries, I knew I was gay, but growing in a household with strong southern roots and in the Bible belt, I was fearful of what they may think or do.

I finally shared my sexually with my dad when I was 16. My mom not until I was well into my 20's.

While this wasn't a direct suicide attempt, it could have easily turned into just that, just from feeling like an outcast.

I can only sit back and attempt to imagine what these kids go through with bullying etc. So from someone who has been "almost" there, I can relate.

As a teenager it is hard to see beyond the 'here and now' and outside of your life as you know it There are better places to be and better people to surround yourself with and will will find both. There are people who care, even though you have never met them, or perhaps never will.

I know my words here don't do the situation justice, but I do want every teenager going through trouble, regardless of what that trouble is, whether it be sexuality or not... LIFE DOES GET BETTER.

Sunday Morning Pancakes..

I just noticed that my last post was May 21st.. where had the time gone? These last few months have been a whirlwind. Bode's baptism made us realize that we had outgrown our rancher that we had so carefully remodeled. While we weren't "actively" looking, we stumbled across a home that met all our needs, with the exception that it needed MAJOR updating.

Our great realtor made the deal happen and sold our home in 1 day. Then the fun began. We've been painting, building, moving, doing demolition, decorating, plumbing, tiling and repainting. While the house is getting to where we can "relax" a bit and take a pause we have been living in a construction zone.

Despite all this, since we moved in late August, I've started a tradition of every Sunday Morning cooking pancakes. Tekla has got to where she expects them and often looks at me and ask "pancakes"? This has helped me to manage to hold on to my sanity for a whee bit longer. Especially this week, painters are here in the morning and the hardwood floors start going in Wednesday!

Easter thoughts

Being gay dads brings not only the troubles most parents deal with, but we also face issues that straight parents do not.

In the media lately there has been a lot of publicity of the Catholic Church denying education to kids of gay parents. I've read comments from people questioning why Gay Parents would ever consider involving kids in the Catholic Church or Catholic school.

Easter Sunday we took Tekla to church, as I sat and listened to the Homily and took part in the service I realized why my religion is so important to me, and why I want to share that with my children. Sure there are things that I don't agree with within the church, I would say that was true for most and the religion they participate in. Some would say that makes me a bad Catholic. I say it makes me enlightened, which, I believe is what Christ wanted. He does not want us to blindly follow, but to open our minds to the reality that is faith.

While the Catholic "Church" itself had made statements regarding homosexuality, gay parents, gay marriage, etc, within the community there are leaders that despite what the church teaches, they choose to teach love. When I began my journey to Catholicism, I was blessed with encountering a priest such as this. While fully acknowledging the teaches of church, emphasizes love and tolerance of all of god's children.

As far as educating my kids in a Catholic school, I merely want the best education possible for my child and if that education happens to be at a Catholic School, then that is where I want them to attend. The same goes for if the school was Baptist, Jewish, Episcopal or public.

Times remembered

Before moving to Houston I spent a few years working with Heart and Lung Transplant patients in Birmingham. Simply the most rewarding job I ever had. I learned so much and grew so much as a person. One of the toughest parts of leaving Birmingham was leaving my job there. I met the most interesting patients during my time there, many of which I still think about often and keep in touch with.

One of my patients that I have often thought of recently tracked me down on Facebook. I never liked seeing him in the hospital, because that generally meant he was sick, although I always had wonderful conversations with him and his wife. He sent me the link to his blog, which I found very captivating. I just have to share. He is truly a man that has walked a hard road, but uses his hardship to help others.

http://www.jackdejarnette.org/

Dedication

We have been quite "busy" the last few days / weeks, preparing for the arrival of Tekla's little brother. Thomas Bowden (BODE) Borski was born 3/16/2010 at 1130 am. He weighed 7 pounds 11 ozs and was 20 inches long. Now we are resting in CA until our trip back to Texas.

While I'm posting a picture of Bode... this post isn't about him... it is about the unsurpassed dedication of a special lady and her fantastic family. Without which Tekla and Bode would not be with us today.

Melinda is an angel sent from heaven. We are so glad she came into our lives. Through our first trying journey she stuck out the hard times, even when pre-eclampsia required Tekla to arrive early. She went through so much during that time, and it fact put her own health in danger to give us our precious daughter. During that ordeal I said I would never ask another women to go through what she did for us to have a family.

Once again, her dedication to seeing us have our family complete persevered. She sought the medical opinion of many doctors and was determined to help us reach our goal. Now, after an incredibly smooth pregnancy and a long arduous labor, she has blessed us with Bode.

Her unselfishness has been unparalleled. With her wonderful family by her side she has done something I myself cannot fathom. She is and always will be a special person and a member of our family. Her generosity will one day be rewarded in ways that cannot be done in this lifetime.

WE LOVE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY MELINDA!!!

Finally... a new camera

Our camera died on our recent vacation, so I haven't had a way to take pics of Tekla and post.

Tekla and I had an outing today and picked out a new camera... so here's a pic!

Eventful week!

Last week we were busily getting Tekla's big girl room put together and her transitioned to her new bed when I received some unexpected news. My dad needed a heart catherization, so the next day comes a worse phone call... dad needs bypass surgery.

So I traveled home to be with him for his surgery. We spent the night before surgery watching the Super Bowl and eating every bad thing we could think of. Surgery went fantastic and luckily he will be going home from the hospital soon.

It really hits home when your parents begin to have health problems. The realization that they will not be around forever. Not around to answer my question about a car repair or an old family recipe. Not around to play with their grandchildren. Not around to enjoy a good sporting event and to tell embarassing childhood stories about you.

It also brings into play our own mortality. I look at my family and see the coronary artery disease creeping ever so more closely to myself. I find myself thinkging about who will take care of me when I have to have bypass surgery, or worse yet, who will take care of my children.

They grow up so fast!

I apologize, know new pictures to post. Our camera is broken.

As we returned from our vacation, we put things in high gear to get ready for the arrival of Bode. We have been in the process of turning the guest room into Tekla's "big girl" room and starting to prepare ourselves mentally / physically the the new challenges a second child brings.

During the process I paused yesterday to realize that Tekla is no longer my baby, she is now my little girl. Sometimes as you think into the future and are busily preparing yourself for this and that, the little things can sneak past, very quickly!

After I got Tekla's toddler bed in place and started decorating her new room we brought her in and she immediately went to the bed to check it out. She crawled up in it, clapped, laughed, climbed into the covers and rolled around. It is as if she realized that was her bed. She even napped in her new bed today for the first time. Perhaps the transition from the crip to the bed will be easier than I anticipated. Time will tell.

He vocabularly is begining to expand as well. Several things she is saying, I thought were jibberish, until I really listened to her. The first name she began saying was Dada, followed by Nanny, finally Papa (sometimes sounds like pop pop) came out. Now she is saying Uh-oh, yes, quack quack.. things I never really noticed until I listened and watched her more closely.

In the future, I need to remind myself while preparing for the future, don't forget the here and now.

Where has the time gone....

Since my last post, we have seen a lot of milestones. Tekla's first birthday, her first teeth, her true "first Christmas" (in the NICU last year so really doesn't count) and Melinda has surpassed the point in this pregnancy where Tekla decided to make an early appearance.

Thought I would share a few pics...