Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Valuable lesson

I've been thinking back about this experience, mostly about how Tekla decided to come early and the wonderful people we have encountered along the way. The unrelenting, unexpected support from strangers and the valuable life lessons I've learned. One of the most remarkable people I met was April.

While we were at the previous hospital, Greg and I often commented how there seemed to be so many babies who's parents / family didn't visit, or visit very often. Not knowing each babies' situation it is hard to judge why they had few visitors. However there was this one lady I saw on a regular basis, entering or leaving the unit. The baby she was visiting was in a different area so we didn't get a chance immediately to talk, but whenever I saw her, most times she always managed a smile. One day I saw her come in, looking very stressed the the ward clerk rushed her back. This was the first time she wasn't smiling.

The next day we were entering the unit about the same time and we took the opportunity to strike up a conversation. We both shared our stories, only bits and pieces that first day, but enough for me to gain an appreciation for her plight. As time unfolded and we talked more her story inspired me.

She was pregnant with twins with a seemingly normal pregnancy when at 21 weeks she developed complications and ended up delivering. A boy and a girl. The little girl unfortunately didn't live but 3 days, but her son initially did well. He was small, but making progress. The first week or so went very well. Soon after he began to experience all the problems premie's can have, respiratory issues, unclosed PDA's, GI issues, etc. Since that time he had a rough time and was getting worse. She shared with me towards the end that she didn't expect that he would make it.

As we neared time for the transfer home we became closer. She would often be at the side of her baby, looking very tired, but always smiling. Greg and I would offer to bring her food or whatever she needed so she could be with her baby. She was so appreciative when we brought her a simple cup of coffee and a cookie. We met her husband the day we were leaving and she told us how happy they were. In my mind I'm amazed at this, I'm thinking "how can you possibly be happy with what you are going through".

She must have seen my puzzlement on my face. She smiled a huge smile and told us that they only had their daughter for 3 days, at least that if they lost their son, they were able to spend 2 months with him.

This holiday season, let's all be thankful for what we have around us. Take the time to let everyone you know how happy you are that they are in your life. Hug the ones closest to you and pull them closer!!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was so well said, Phillip. I'm so blessed to have you guys in my life, you are such wonderful and sincere people. I can't imagine life now without you. So I want to say how much you mean to me, not just in this holiday season, but always and forever.

Love you,
M

Anonymous said...

Wow, April seemed to be a strong woman and I bet she is delighted that you cared enough to not only bring her coffee, but also to share her story.
Merry Christmas Guys! & Tekla!

Anonymous said...

Darn you for making me cry, but thank you for the powerful message, especially today.

Best of wishes to your whole family.

Merry Christmas, Happy H, Happy Q, whatever you celebrate - just celebrate!

Anonymous said...

OK, I've been watching two movies that have made me cry and now this on top of it!

Dang you!!!!

April had the right attitude. She was already blessed with that and I pray that God will bless her with her son making it. I'm glad y'all met her and you were able to be there for one another.

Blessings to your family and hers at Christmas.

CLR3