and let there be silence

Ok, apologies for the absence. I literally haven't posted since before Christmas, so I have a lot of catching up to do.

Holidays turned out great! Much better than I would have expected about 1 month ago win I was wallowing in pity. I ask AJ to to go out on a limb and spend Christmas with me. It was a big risk for both of us, but all was well.

Twas the day before Christmas and all the crazy house... Was 2 gay boys, 2 senile women and one overzealous drinker, not to mention a house full of kids and 15 or so rednecks. Yep that would describe Christmas eve at my mom's house. All in all it was great, the best part was that AJ was there with me and he seemed to really enjoy himself. I'm really happy he has made efforts to get to my "odd" but special family.

Christmas day was our day together. We woke up and I made AJ breakfast, then we (yes I said we, AJ scored more points) cook Christmas dinner. We opened presents and cuddled the rest of the evening. Not an exciting day for most, but enjoyed it tremendously.

Then alone comes new years. AJ had plans with his best friend Brad (who by the way is a terrific guy) and one of Brad's friend EJ (sometimes affectionately known as BJ) in Fort Lauderdale. I had originally planned to make the trip, but when AJ and my status "changed" so did my plans. After having such a great Christmas with AJ I so wanted to spend new years' with him. So after much discussion and plan making AJ and I decided that I should join the trip. He went down a few days before me and had some QT with Brad and John. I arrived on New Years eve, which couldn't have come any sooner. I was so missing AJ by the time that day rolled around, I was beside myself.

I got to see Brad and met EJ (who is just as terrific as Brad) and we all went to hear Abel at a great space in Miami. The evening turned out to be the best time I've had at a long time at an event such as this. I accredit this to being with AJ and with good guys like Brad and EJ.

The next 2 evenings we once again did the "socializing" thing, but I could have been just as content with only the first evening. The rest I would have been satisfied catching a movie or playing penuckle(just how do you spell that?).

I was very disappointed however, it seemed that every couple we met were interested in "playing" or played on the side. Not my cup of tea, but if it works for them, so be it. I just erks me when they assume that we play as well.

The drive back was phenomenal. We spent hours talking, laughing, sharing ideas. It seems that our little "situation" has sparked some much needed communication skills between us. There was one episode of AJ yelling to the top of his lungs, but it was a good thing ;-).

It seems inevitable to me that AJ and I are to be together. I just want to make absolutely sure before any more feelings are hurt. I do love him greatly. I've caught myself just wanted to look at him when he's not watching, and wanted to stare into his olive eyes for hours on end. My smile has certainly returned!