"quirks"

my mind is full of thoughts tonight and I'm having trouble sorting through them. AJ is away in DC for a few weeks and I miss him incredibly. I speak with him on the phone a few times a day. Everytime I hear his voice, I can almost feel his happiness through the phone. He's really enjoying being back in DC and seeing friends.

He apparently is also getting a lot of attention for the boys and he is enjoying every second of it. He, like me and 95.6% of all other gay men has a self esteem issue, so when someone gives him some attention.... well, you get the point. I really understand that. However having known AJ for some time now, he can unknowingly give off the wrong vibe, or the wrong impression.

I also sometimes don't understand certain thought processes or what he is looking for out of a situation. For instance, going to a bar alone. I could understand if he knew someone there, or was going with friends, but why alone? Most people go out alone to be around other people or meet other people. I'm not sure why he feels like he needs to meet someone in a bar, most times, whomever he meets is going to get the wrong impression. This I certainly don't understand. I'm afraid if I question him, he'll think I'm suspicious or trying to say he did something wrong, when that is not the case, I just want to understand.

A major component of life in is about "understanding" or "discovery". Which is certainly true in relationships as well.