Envy...

Recently TP and I have been faced by members of our families who are having a difficult time coming to terms that we are going to be dads. For us to realize this about TP's sister was quite easy. As easy as getting a cow to poop. When we shared our news with her, she paused for about 30 seconds or so and broke the silence with one question... "What am I suppose to tell my kids?" That was the end of the discussion. She has not brought the subject up again, and in fact hasn't even spoken to us almost at all.

I first shared the news with my brother and sister in-law almost 2 years ago, when we first started trying to make this happen. My sister in-law was very happy and accepting and my brother was also, or so it seemed.

Since then whenever I bring the subject up, he makes jokes and changes the subject. He simply will not address the issue. My parents recently revealed that he was having a difficult time dealing with it, using the excuse... but won't the baby need a mother??

TP and I have been discussing this with each other and mulling over this for a while. Of course we want our kids to have a supportive family around them, have Aunts and Uncles they can depend on and play an important part in their lives, so you can imagine this has got under our skin.

Finally it dawned on me... ENVY.

Growing up in America we are taught, either objectively or subjectively, through our families or religion, that people who are different, are not as good as you. Whether based upon skin color, religion or who you share your bed with. Even people from other places are subjectively "not as good".

Now here are our siblings, both families struggle from pay check to pay check, facing daily problems in their lives, jobs, family, financial, etc... and here we are 2 big Homos.. the worst of the worst... the world (or America's) biggest threat on society.

Over the past few years great strides have been made to "tolerate" us, "accept" us. You can see this everyday by visiting what was once a gay establishment. The straights want to show us how accepting they are by eating at our restaurants, moving into the gayborhood and hanging out in the gay clubs. I ask, is this acceptance or pity??

Back to the 2 big Homos... well here we are, successful, happy, not struggling financially, not battling alcohol or drugs, great supportive friends, in a wonderful, caring relationship and now the 2 things they have that we aren't suppose to achieve, we are.... marriage and kids.

How can this be?? Marriage and kids are what "proved" they were better than us... how can this happen??

Are they envious? Do they feel threatened? We all know that someone considered "lesser" than ourselves isn't supposed to actually being doing better that we are, nor be able to achieve certain things in life. At least this is what we have been taught.

Here's looking at you kid

We are now entering the 13Th week of our pregnancy. Last week we visited Melinda (our surrogate) and her family in California. We also met the OB doctor, who was very accommodating and understanding of our situation. This surprised us because he is located in a small hospital in a small town in Cali.

Reality is beginning to set in. In just a few months we will be dads... a long time dream come true.

Must see

For those of us who grew up in a highly religious atmosphere with our sexuality constantly challenged by religion and what we were taught must see the movie "For the Bible tells me so." Great movie.

Take home advice from the movie, don't just read the Bible, understand the Bible.

All evidence to the contrary.

Here's a recent quote by Rick Davis, McCain campaign manager.

"We'll let the chips fall where they may when it comes to how people perceive this, but we are not going to let anybody paint John McCain, who's fought his entire life for equal rights for everyone, to be able to be painted as racist."

Ummmmm... news flash Mr. Davis, McCain is done just the opposite of that, unless you don't consider Gays / Lesbians part of "everyone".

He voted to ammend the Arizona state constitution that basically defines marriage as between a man and a women, he supports don't ask don't tell. He's opposed to ENDA, he's opposed Federal Hate crimes laws. He voted for the Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibits same sex couples from receiving federal benefits in any state and he has supported the nomination of Anti- GLBT judges such as Alito.


I think Mr. Davis needs to do his homework.