Ascension

Sunday May 4Th was what Catholics recognize as Ascension Sunday. This day has special meaning to me, other than the obvious. This is the Sunday where those are desire to be Catholic are Confirmed and allowed to share communion for the first time. This comes after almost a year of study.

The reason this day is particularly special to me is that this year it marks the 10Th year anniversary of my confirmation. I had an "interesting" journey to becoming Catholic, my earliest memories of church were with my parent and grandmother (who is now 91) in what is known as a "Free Will Baptist" church. Very fundamentalist, similar to Holiness Churches. Women are not allowed to wear pants, makeup or cut their hair and are allowed to wear very limited jewelry. Men's hair has to be a certain length as well. Speaking in "tongues" and "dancing in the spirit", (which I prefer to do on a Saturday night) is common. Tent revivals are the norm as well as not having televisions in the home. If you don't believe the way the pastor believes then you are going to hell, as with many other religions.

To experience this and through the years become more "more enlightened" and understand there was much more to religion and spirituality than what I was being spoon fed, to end up converting to Catholicism was a big stretch.

Now I look at my personal spirituality beyond mere religion, although I do subscribe to many (not all) teachings of the Catholic church. The "not all" portion of that last statement is why I am now struggling somewhat with my faith, particularly after the death of the very charismatic John Paul.

With TP and I facing starting our own family, this issues is frequently on my mind.

I look around and see many religions engaging in dialogue about homosexuality. The Episcopal church is dealing with the backlash of having appointed the first openly gay Bishop and the Methodist church has even opened up the prospect of "discussing" gay marriage. I actually am very optimistic that some religions will recognize that loving relationships between 2 committed adults should be celebrated in my lifetime. However, I don't see the Catholic church taking this step for another 100 years or so. Heck, as my priest used to point out, the Catholic Church is stuck in the 18Th century, just look at how the have the priest dress.

Seeking to bring a child / children into the world has forced me to reexamine my own faith and question what I will teach my child and wonder what impact the church will have on my child's ideology. In the end I must trust my child to have the insight I did and at some point in their life they too will make a decision about faith, spirituality and organized religion. I will teach them what I know, introduce them to my values, show them the love they deserve and hopefully open their minds beyond what they hear in church.