June 27th..

Although June 26th was a historical day for LGBT equality June 27th should be the day to remember. Odd? While yesterday was a day to celebrate and to examine all the emotions flowing such as excitement, relief, joy, pride, happiness, it's the less talked about emotions that we, as a group, and as a country should focus on. Anger over still not being fully equal in every state, despite the rulings. Sadness for the hatred we will continue to experience, the unsatisfied feeling deep in our hearts knowing there is still so much to do. While the avalanche of change has begun, currently it is only a rock slide that needs our help. I propose that June 27th should be the day that we all stand up firmly for what we believe in and know in our hearts is right. The day we double our efforts to continue this wonderful change going on in our society. The day we all do just a little more to get that law passed, that person elected, or even just educating our family and friends. The change has started, now let's all kick a few rocks and finish the job.

Waiting...

It is June 25th and the question is will June 26th 2013 be a day that history is made? The answer is yes, but it remains to be see in what manner. The country and the world is watching to see what direction the Supreme Court will take the country. Will it continue to allow discrimination based upon sexual orientation or will it open the door for dramatic change in our country. Whatever the decisions are handed down noone will see an immediate, dramatic change in their lives. Some people who are gay may not even feel the decision will impact them directly. My family for one can and hopefully will be affected positively by the decision. A lot of people are probably thinking, "big deal, so you can't get married", from my perspective it is a big deal, not for me or my husband directly, but for our kids. And I am not talking about the social connotation for our kids, but more financial. One of the numerous benefits married couples receive is the reduction of Estate Taxes. For unmarried couples, if one of the partner's die, the other has to pay huge amounts of taxes, unlike married couples. This alone would dramatically affect the lives of kids. For instance if one of us passes away and the other has to pay a big Estate tax bill, that could me comprimising our kids college fund or even forcing them to move into another neighborhood, change schools, etc. Sure there are legal ways around this such as leaving the estate in a Trust for the kids, just like obtaining a durable power of attorney and a medical power of attorney to address issues that a married couple automatically has, but these things cost money, time and changes as our lives change. Despite all these attempts and legal documents, the rights that a married couple has outweighs the rights of an 'unmarried' couple. If DOMA is struck down and the Supreme Court leaves marriage rights up to the states, for those of us living in the south it will be years before we can expect the issue to be resolved. However the decision might, just might push the momentum enough so we all can be treated equally sooner.

Olfactory

Wow.. almost 2 years since I posted anything here, for the first time in a long time, I actually have the inclination to share some thoughts. As I was cooking dinner tonight I opened a bottle of Olive Oil. As the smell entered my nose I had memories of my child hood and my grandmother. Unlike most people she never cooked with olive oil, instead it was her "anointing" oil. Anytime she wanted to pray for you, she drag out the Olive oil, unscrew the cap, tip it over and let a small amount get on her fingers (bless her frugal heart), put the sign of the cross on your head and start praying. Now this bottle of Olive oil wasn't fresh. I imagine it was quite old, and it had that strong, semi-pungent odor that once you smell, you always remember (bless her frugal heart again). Tonight as we crawled into bed and pulled the quilt back the sweet smell of fresh clean sheets filled the air (thank you maid service). As the smell hits my nose my mind turns to curling up in the sheets the the pillow pulled up close so as I drift off I smell the fresh sheets. Again, memories of my grandmother enter my head. She never had a dryer, so all her clothes were hung outside in the sun to dry. If you have ever slept on sun crisp, fresh air sheets, you know what I mean. One of the most refreshing smells in the world. When I would stay with my grandmother her sheets always smelled that way, particularly if you crawled into on of the beds in the spare rooms, beds rarely slept in, but yet the sheets smelled fresh. So tonight, as I return to my blog... my thoughts go to my grandmother. Although we never quite understood each other, I miss miss you...

Is God infallible?

This is a question I remember discussing with my Priest as I was going through RCIA. We all live by the premise that God does not make mistakes. He made Giraffe's to look the way they look for a reason, along with giving us eyebrows for reason and not to forget he made us the way he wanted us to be.

He made people of different races, heights, builds, eye color and yes even made us with different sexual orientations.

A few months ago I had a major argument with my brother, amongst all the turmoil he said to me "you have changed and I am not sure I like it". I have had lots of time to think about that statement and examine how I have changed.

I've gotten older, balder and grayer for sure. My views on many different subjects have changed particularly since the kids came along, but the major change I have looked back and paid particular attention to is how I feel about everyone else's opinion of me.

I think I have always been fairly comfortable in my own skin, but I don't take flack from anyone about my sexuality. I don't hesitate in any situation to mention my husband or partner. I don't apologize for who I am. I have no patience for those who choose to treat others badly or look down upon them because they are different and I certainly would never let ANYTHING that would instill hatred or negativity in my children.

So what ever your personal relationship with God may be, In my relationship with God, god is infallible, therefore I am gay because he created me this way and no apology is necessary.

Wonderment

Yesterday it rained in Houston. We are in a bad drought and rain is very welcome. I walked out of work and began walking down the street, letting the rain hit my face and watched as others hurried to keep dry, to huddle under their umbrellas or pull their shirts up over their head in a feeble attempt to stay dry.

Those that know me well know I love walking in the rain. The water hitting my face and the refreshing feel of the crisp air as it hits my lungs. There is something else i find as equally refreshing as I look at my kids with amazement. The innocence they have as they learn about the world around them. Their inquisitiveness is the driving force behind their motivation to learn.

Unbridled by preconceived ideas, racism, prejudice, hate, their minds are open to new ideas and experiences. Virtually fearless and with limitless possibilities they are ready to absorb information.

Imagine the world, just for one day, putting down their "umbrellas" and facing the world. Putting aside prejudices and hate and having the mind of child, wanting nothing more than to learn and understand.

Easter come and go...

It seems like forever when Greg was telling me about his mom's big get together at the ranch for Easter. Now I've had the pleasure of being part of it for many years. It also brings on a entirely new perspective when you have kids.

For a time we were splitting our time between "Easter at the Ranch" and a local fund raising event that took place every Easter weekend (jungle). However since the kids have arrived, we've changed our time allotment and even our financial contribution to the fund raiser. Now we spend our Easter preparing food, games, Easter eggs and getting the ranch ready for 50+ family and friends. It has been great to share this event not only with Greg's family, but my parents have also been able to attend on occasion and this year our great friends and Godfathers to our kids, John and Peter (and John's dad) were able to make the hour and a half trip from Houston for the gathering.

Often people hear of the ranch but never get the experience, so whenever someone close us gets to visit, we are very happy.

Bode isn't quite old enough to enjoy the candy eating, egg hunting, fun filled holiday that sends most of us into a sugar coma, but Tekla sure did. It took over 24 hours for her to come down from her sugar high!

Now onward to our next holiday.....

Happy Birthday!!

Well today isn't his birthday, but March 16th was. Our little man is now 1 year old. It is hard to believe that a few years ago he and his sister were just dreams of ours. We longed to be dads, and now it is so.

It is humbling to think of how those important to us, gave so much so that our dream could come true. THANK YOU MELINDA, Melinda's family and our families for being so supportive. Also thanks to all of friends who are playing such and important role in their (and our) lives. We are blessed to have such good role models, both gay and straight, for our kids.